Do you remember...

Before reading...
Tune in to: Semua Tentang Kita - Peter Pan
Click 'play' and skip to the track if necessary


Do you remember...
This date today
This once special day
This date, 5 years ago.

Do you remember...
The words we shared
The times we had
The faith that you will never go.

I shall take over
The tears you shed
The pain you held
The hurt I put you through.

I shall surrender
The tears I shed
The pain I held
And hope you'll forgive me too.

Let me discover...
The silver lining
A new beginning
The meaning why we end.

Let's start over...
Go our own way
To a brighter day
And be happier in the end.

Amin. I pray that happier end is with you. Amin.

Interesting quote for the day:
"So you take the smiles from all our years...
I'll take the tears..."
-lyrics from the song "I'll take the tears" by A1

Your Guardian Angel

Tune in to: Your Guardian Angel - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Click 'play' and skip to the track if necessary.

When I see your smile, tears roll down my face
I can't replace.
And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul,
And I know I'll find deep inside me, I can be the one.

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all,
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

It's okay... It's okay... It's okay...

Seasons are changing and waves are crashing,
And stars are falling all for us.
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter,
I can show you I'll be the one.

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all,
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

Cause you're my...
You're my, my
My true love
My whole heart
Please don't throw that away.
Cause I'm here, for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay...

Use me as you will,
Pull my strings just for a thrill.
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray.

I will never let you fall,
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all,
Even if saving you sends me to heaven....
I will never let you fall,
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all,
Even if saving you sends me to heaven....

I hope to be your guardian angel.

Looking for tutors

I'm looking for someone to tutor my cousin. Here are the details:
Gender: Preferably female
Location: Yishun
Subjects: Physics and Chemistry
Level: My cousin is studying at NUS High School and her standard now is in between O level and A level.
Rates: Negotiable
Start on: As soon as possible. I know we have our exams, so maybe after that, when we have 3 months free.
Duration: For 1 year. 2 hours each week. Sunday afternoons preferably.

Help me ask around, please. Thank you!!!

Mega Carnival 08

Yes, it is a very outdated entry. I've been very busy this week with reports, assignments and what-nots. So here it is...

Well, there were many problems that we had to face but Alhamdulillah we can manage them. The start was a bit diisappointing. It was a Friday after all and yes there were more people that came during the weekend. I'm one of the publicity officers for the event. On the actual day, I was tasked with manning the coupon booth and was somewhat the unofficial photographer for the event. I am considering investing in a SLR camera. All my pics are from Saturday and Sunday.

The dedicated and hardworking people manning the second coupon booth.
Faqeehah and Faiz (Fairuz's bro)

The best friend in the comm, Nadia, the other publicity officerThe rah-rah girls that were tasked with 'courting' people into the eventThe people manning the front coupon booth

It was Irah's birthday on the Saturday and we got Didicazli to sing for her

Atrika Dance company

Our very own, Ilsa Tari

Camhoring while we were bored. Notice the 1-2-3 fingers

My favourite funny pic: Attack of the Cross-eyed Ninjas

Some pictures on Sunday:

J.Da. The one on the extreme left is Ashri, my old schoolmate. Here, the PD and APD: Adriyanni and Nadirah present a token of appreciation to them

Sleeq, the hip-hop duo that young girls adore

The band, Merah!

Mr Abdullah Tarmugi graced the occasion and launched Akudeta, the online newsletterMe and Mr Zubir Abdullah. A very kind, polite and talented man.

Me and the Akudeta peopleZuraimi made an impromptu performance!Omar and Amalina,
the two emcees that lighten up the atmosphere of our event

For more pictures:
http://s205.photobucket.com/albums/bb159/shadow6_photos/Mega%20Carnival%2008/

Well, I really had fun in the event. Everyone is a joy to work with. Each of us has our own unique character that adds up to become the Committee for Mega Carnival. My character of course, is the lame crappy guy that cracks jokes most of the time. I really learnt alot from this experience and there are some things I wish I could improve on. Alas, let's just look ahead and work from there. You and me did well in my opinion. No creation of the invisible bubble. Alhamdulillah.
Interesting quote for the day:
"Life is a drawing without an eraser" - quoted from a vandalism.
I've always said that the best thing about life is that there is no 'rewind' button. Whatever we have done, we cannot undo it. There maybe errors or ugly patches on our drawing but we just have to deal with it. The best that we can do is to cover it up or just continue on drawing. Who knows, the once-ugly part can be a beautiful, defining part of our life... Hopefully, our drawings will be beautiful enough to be presented to the Almighty when we are done with them. Amin. And I hope that my drawing has you engraved in it. Amin.

When anger leaks out

On another note, I met someone intersting yesterday at the Mega Carnival. I was sitting at the coupon booth when I saw a bunch of guys and girls coming in. One of the guys looked familiar... Where have I seen him before... Think...

Oh... No... Could it be?

Hudy approached the girls. Apparently they are her friends. Then I asked Hudy if they were from NTU. Yes they were. Could it be? Just need to know his name...

And coincidentally the guy was returning unsold coupons that we gave NTU for pre-sale. Zah called me to handle them cos she was unsure. The perfect opportunity...

Me: Oh, so where are you guys from?
Him: NTU
Me: Thank you for your support. You are?

Upon hearing his name... that settled it. It was him. At that moment, I was so tempted to say:

"Hi, I'm the guy you stole my girlfriend from."

But of course, I didn't. Instead, I asked for the name of the friend beside him. And I asked them to enjoy themselves and thank them for supporting us again.

Awakened inside was anger. It wasn't a strong one. Just a bitter one. It's not that I have not gotten over it. It's just that seeing him in person for the first time. I guess it's natural. I know that I will somehow get angry if I see him. But since I've gotten over it, I guess the anger has been watered down. So to prevent myself from potentially blowing up, I went to solat. Alhamdulillah.

I wonder how it would turn out if I did say that line...

Interesting quote for the day:
"The strength of a man is measured by how he can control his anger." - adapted meaning from a Hadith.
Am I strong enough? I still have to work on it.

When I thought it was over

Alhamdulillah. The Mega Carnival is over. I would put an exclamation mark after each of the previous sentences. But it goes to show I'm tired.
Thank you everyone for your support! Thank you to the organising committee for this opportunity! Sorry for any shortcomings or anything I did or didn't do/say that upsets anyone. I know my lame and crappy jokes are untimely at times. Redundant, I know. I've made many friends with all of you. Even made friends with the boyfriends of some of you. We will still be working together in the near future... So yeah, I look forward to seeing you guys again. Not so much looking forward to the work though. Hehe.


I can't find my memory card reader. So I shall post pictures next time. But I shall give a holler to all the local bands and talents out there. You guys rock! Thank you for spending your time to perform. I can say I've become a fan of the local music scene. Hehe. And Zubir Abdullah is a very nice guy.

This morning, suddenly reality comes crashing in. The work I've put off or sacrificed greeted me when I woke up. I can no longer use Mega Carnival as an excuse. It should have never been used as one.
Tired as I was, I contemplated once again to go to school or not. 6:30... lesson at 8:00. Definitely late. How am I to finish all the work. I dunno how, but I have to. Just when I thought I could ease myself back into my normal life... My life comes crashing in like water from a broken dam or a pyroclastic flow from a volcano. Help...



Breathe in... Breathe out... Astarghfirullah... Bismillah... La Haula Wala Kuwata Illah Billah.
Segala pujian bagi Allah Tuhan sekalian alam. Selawat dan Salam atas Nabi Muhammad.
Ya Allah, Ya Ghaffaar, Ya Ghafuur, ampunkan dosa-dosaku...
Ya Allah, Ya Haadi, Ya Fattaah, berikan petunjuk dan pertolongan kepada ku. Sesungguhnya Kamu Ya 'Aziiz, Ya Jabbar.
Ya Allah, Ya Salaam, Ya Mu'min, tenangkan hatiku dan hidupku. Ku rasa tidak sanggup untuk mengatasi ujian ini... Ku mohon pertolongan dariMu... Selawat dan Salam atas Nabi Muhammad. Segala pujian bagi Allah Tuhan sekalian alam. Amin.

Interesting quote for the day:
"He that is down needs fear no fall." - John Bunyan
I shall pick myself up again. And again. And again if I have to.

Crash and Burn

Tune in to: Crash and Burn - Savage Garden
Click Play and skip to the track if necessary
Dedicated to you, the one who lights up my day
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild, wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door
And you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away
And you feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call
If you jump i'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

'Cause there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breathe again

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart

Let me be the one you call
If you jump i'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

Can't wait for it all to be over...

Tune in to: Numb - Linkin Park
Click Play and skip to the track if necessary

(lyrics)
I'm tired of being what you want me to be,
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface...
Everything is stressing me out right now. So much to do with so little time. Lab reports, mid-term tests, projects and my various activities. I really feel suffocated. What did I get myself into... Kudos to everyone who has worse schedules and yet still be able to pull it off. And maybe even get good grades. Right now, I wish I can be one of them. At least I know now when to say 'no' when I have to.

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
I've become so tired, so much more aware...
Been sleeping irregularly now. Even so, I still feel I've not done enough. Maybe cos there's so much stuff to do and what I've done pales in comparison.

I always tell myself not to regret in whatever that I do. But I can't help feeling that right now. Cos I go home late. And when I do, I'll do my work and become distant from my family. And the work seems never-ending. I don't talk with my parents much anymore and I don't play with my bro much anymore. Home almost become a place for free lodging and free food.
And sadly, it's not much of my academic work that I'm doing. I really feel that I'm lagging behind. I'm just barely able to understand what is going on. I'm no longer confident of what I've learnt... or try to learn... I really need to catch up. I can't afford to waste anymore time.
And every second I waste is more than I can take.

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
I've become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do,
Is be more like me and be less like you.

No use feeling sorry for myself. I shall be strong. Take it all one step at a time. I will do my best and have faith. I will overcome this test in life. InsyaAllah. Amin.

Testing out

Peace to all.
I'm testing out this music hosting thing on my blog. Press the play button on the player below...
Tell me if you hear a song. Tell me if you don't also. Haha.

Interesting quote for the day:
"Without music, life would be a mistake" - seen on a wall in the music shop: Gramaphone

Just to fill in space

My knees are hurting. The Spu-spus (me and Yusri) ran from SRC to West Coast Park. We stopped at the playground area where we had the Vault'07 night activities there. We ran back but this time, we turned in towards Central Library. The uphill slope from the junction all the way to near YIH is a nightmare. And running uphil puts pressure on my lower legs. My kness are still hurting. At least the downhil slope at YIH and SRC was nice.

Yesterday was the public debut of my Adidas shoe bag! And also my debut after a haircut. People including my family have been asking me to cut my hair. So yeah, I did. It's kinda short now. But i think after a week, it'll be nice. Most people don't see the difference... so nvm....

After the run, I went to paste posters for Mega Carnival around Arts and SDE. Yusri followed me around. Thanks, bro. It's trying walking around pasting and pinning up stuff after the run. And we tried Coca Cola Zero. The new "no sugar" version of Coca Cola. The can colour is nice. Can match my bag. Anyway, it tastes the same as the original Coca Cola. Which is kinda amazing considerin "no sugar". It's abit more bubbly.
TASTE IT TO BELIEVE IT.

Oh yes, the CM1131 test was okay. I thought I wouldn't be able to do half the paper. But it seems I can at least do three-quarters. The final 2 questions were 25 marks each... the whole paper is 100 marks. So I was abit stunned when I saw the questions. Didn't have time to finish the last one though... Hopefully it won't be so bad. Amin.

Today, I went to school late cos I slept at 3am. Haha. I didn't understand the tutorial so, I was hoping to just be a sponge just now. I did participate in the discussion for my group. Made new friends too.
Just a note so that I don't forget their names: my group consisted of Me, Grace, Sihao, Wei Tian, Liyun, Shin Yi, Wei Li and Jackie.

After the class ended, we went to eat. After which, I becan my publicity poster pasting at YIH and Science. Hopefully people see them and come for it. I really hope so.

Here I am at forum and while blogging this entry, a lady approached me to do a survey. I recognised her as the one from SDU and I already did the survery yesterday. It was interesting. One Part was:
Are you dating someone and is in an exclusive relationship?
Are you dating someone but not in an exclusive relationsjip?
Are you interested in someone but not dating?
None of the above.

I told her that I've done the survey. Afterwhich, another guy approached me. Apparently he's looking for people that are willing to paste stickers on their laptop. Advertising. You get $30 for doing that. And they will paste for you and remove for you after 3 months. It seemed interesting. But if the sticker ges against what I stand for, I can reject it. He couldn't disclose the design and company sadly. So I decided to just give it a shot. $30 for doing almost nothing. And he said that there maybe 4 advertisements so I can get $120 in a year. Not bad.

Well I gotta finish up on my assignment now. Please come for Mega Carnival! It's at Taman Warisan (Malay Heritage Centre @Bugis). 14-16 March 2008. You can order your coupons through me. Only $5. It's for a good cause anyway. =)

Alhamdulillah

Yesterday, the silat team had a performance at Hougang Park 6, somewhere around Hougang St 61. It was the 19th Anniversary of Perguruan Sendeng Pukulan and they decided to hold a mass silat display. It showcased the kids, youth and instructors of Sendeng Pukulan putting up a very nice display of this martial art. Other perguruans were also invited and 2 schools were invited: NUS and NYP. By the way, our coaches are from sendeng Pukulan. Hehe.

In my opinion, it was the best performance yet. Syikin, who watched it, second my opinion. I really salute Fadzli (Chong) for the choreography and coordination of our performance. We would be nowhere without him. I really hope you will still stay in silat next year. Thank you, Chong! And thanks to Abang Azmi and Taufik for guiding us.

Our performance showcased our foreign talents: David and Jason. They were in the same event as me i.e. Bela Diri. Everyone did a fantastic job! Congrats to everyone! I really enjoyed myself.

Here are links to some pics:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=29922&l=56d7b&id=583720078
and
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=29926&l=898d0&id=583720078

Alhamdulillah, our silat performance was great.

Today...
It's been long since I was this calm and grateful. Alhamdulillah. I believe this path I'm taking is the right one for me. Alhamdulillah. I hope to stay on this path. InsyaAllah. And I know you will be there to help me.

Interesting quotes for the day:
"Segala nikmat yang ada pada kamu, maka adalah daripada Allah, kemudian apabila kamu ditimpa kesusahan maka kepadaNya kamu meminta pertolongan" - An-Nahl: 53

"Dan terhadap nikmat Tuhanmu maka hendaklah kamu menyebut-nyebutnya (dengan bersyukur kepadaNya)" - Adh-Dhuha:11

Find happiness, near

In two days, I accomplished 4 out of the 8 things "to buy and do" (ref. Feb 25, 2008).

Yesterday, I watched "L: change the world" with Farah! Okay, before you start rumouring, she is currently very happy with her boyfriend. And no, I'm not planning to ruin the relationship. No other guy friend I have is into this Japanese manga/anime kind of story. Wait, maybe no other friend is into this kind of manga/anime story. So yeah, it was like a spontaneous thing we decided after silat on Wednesday.

It was a great movie! The title for this entry is quoted from the movie. Another quote I like:
"No matter how gifted you are, you alone cannot change the world".
It may sound condescending but actually it meant to say that you need others to change the world together. The hero of the story, 'L', is like one of the coolest people ever! He is like a selekeh character but super-smart. You will just laugh at his antics. Like how he prepared a stick of sweets and pastries and hid it behind his back to surprise a crying girl. Or how he walks, sits, hold an object, types on a computer... haha, everything is funny but cool. I just find it sad that he has to die in the end. Darn it! Okay, I realise most people couldn't care less what the heck I'm talking about so moving on... Thanks Farah for the company. If not, I would've been alone watching and not understanding some parts. You rock!

Studied in school, forum, with Nadia yesterday after the movie. We discussed Mega Karnival publicity stuff and afterwhich we studied. Get to know her better... like how her favourite movie is my favourite movie. Guess what it is. Hehe. And then, Fahmi, Izarina and Zuraimi joined us. Diorang datang terus kecoh seh... Haha, funny. I realised that asal ada 2 BPians, mesti kecoh punya. I'm sorry Nadia if we were very distracting. But I can see that we brought some laughter to you! Haha. Izarina asked a very direct question that caught me off-guard. Likening a sapuan belakang while you are trying to sabit.

Bought a 2GB thumbdrive from the Forum Bookstore for $32.90. Dunno if it was worth it or not. But I need it.

Just now after solat Jumaat, had South East Asia module project meeting. Shall not divulge what we intend to do... takut orang copy our idea. After which, I went to Queensway with Yusri! Haha, yet another spontaneous thing. Padahal we kinda cancelled the idea of going there today. Okay, the time is past midnight. Let's pretend today is still Friday.

Got my clima-cool shirt and shoe bag! Bangga seh. It's been long since I bought stuff that I really wanted for myself.

Alrite, in case you didn't notice, the 4 things I did/buy didn't include studying. And here I am still able to blog. Just needed to write something out. Stressed about the upcoming 1131 test. Atiqah is stressed too! And she's like the mathematically-inclined girl. I shall do what I can. All the best to everyone! Hopefully your break was more fruitful than mine.

Should I even try?

Interesting quote for the day:
"Find happiness, near" - L